28th September 2016

I’m bored. I wanna quit my job and work on something else.

The guy at one of the talk I’ve been said to the audience, “What do you wanna do?”

I honestly have no idea. Today I got an email to an invitation to Asia’s Rice Bowl awards. As an audience, not a participant. I don’t know how did I get the invitation. Zu did not get it. Abi Dzar did not get it. I know I won’t go there. I got nothing to show for it. If there is anything I learn from Superb and Symbiosis, among these guys, I’m no one.

Heck, who am I? Some might say a really good coder. But in these few week, one thing I’ve learn is that, even in that aspect, I’m not really that good. I just have an early head start. And if I stay and my current job, I’m gonna be left behind. It really is quite sad. Without my skill, who am I?

I could not even do ImbasPay well. Not even Bahasapp. I could make excuses here and there, but the fact is, I really don’t know how to manage a project. Need to go and work somewhere else.

Thinking about Superb and Symbiosis, I really have a talent of getting myself into places where I probably should not go. Likely due to my presentation skill. A quirks I get back from secondary school. You see, sometimes when I do some public speaking, it can work really well, and people for some reason have the impression that I could be a champion or something. Unfortunately I have a very poor social skill which makes me awkward as hell. And in business, leadership and I guess life, social skill rules. If I could code my way through it, I would. I’m kinda am.

Oh well, what am I blabbering about again? Yea, changing job. The thing is, I need to complete ImbasPay and then the IIUM research thing and then I can safely change job. Which is a lot of work. Sometimes I ask myself, do I regret making choices that lead me to today. Well, then I respond, “If I keep thinking of these regret, I won’t be able to move”. So many regret. But it does not mean much today. I really need to learn how to say “No”.

What do you wanna do?

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